being here

My mother once told me that yes, the iron lung could be claustrophobic.  But that since her life depended on climbing back into it to sleep every night,  SHE could not afford to feel that way.  So she refused to. Sheer force of will made it not bother her. Because she could not allow it to.

I've been thinking about that a lot the last few days. I can't think about how much I don't want to be here. Like that.

I paid the overblown price for the new Kate Daniels book. It has given me something to enjoy in spare moments.  And my Saturday plans have been built around it: Sleep in. Read. Take a nap.

Today my coworkers invited me to join them at a casino.  I'm not a big fan of casinos. I am shopping instead. I'm trying to find epsum salts.  Luggage weight restrictions kept me from bringing the usual amount. Some Lush sea salt bath bombs have been the closest substitute I could find.

Surviving

My mother once told me that yes, the iron lung could be claustrophobic. But that since her life depended on climbing back into it to sleep every night, SHE could not afford to feel that way. So she refused to. Sheer force of will made it not bother her. Because she could not allow it to.

I've been thinking about that a lot the last few days. I can't think about how much I don't want to be here. Like that.

I paid the overblown price for the new Kate Daniels book on my Kindle app. It has given me something to enjoy in spare moments. And my Saturday plans have been built around it: Sleep in. Read. Take a nap.

Today my coworkers invited me to join them at a casino. I'm not a big fan of casinos. I am shopping instead. I'm trying to find epsum salts. Luggage weight restrictions kept me from bringing the usual amount. Some Lush sea salt bath bombs have been the closest substitute I could find.