Fire, bugs, and other fantastic events
Jul. 14th, 2009 09:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
indigo_rose99Yesterday at lunch my friend D (who reads the public version of this blog) told me that she had not gotten any sense of the adventures I was verbally telling her about my July 4th. Hmmm... Perhaps I was too aware of the three readers who were there (Hi, K, L, & M!).
Let's travel back in time a few weeks ago, when I was packing. [Conversation somewhat edited from actual events]
"Wanna blow up stuff with us?"
"Absolutely! That looked So Fun last time!" (I know this reads sarcastic, but it is really not.)
"There will be bugs. Lots and lots of bugs! Horrible, biting, itching BUGS!! And they will want your tender flesh..."
"So, pack long pants, socks to tuck them into, and a long-sleeved shirt."
"Well, you may catch on fire, so don't pack clothes you mind having burn holes."
"Um... OK." *dubious look at phone* Second thoughts that involve bugs are one thing, but horrible burning?
Packing and a plane trip passed...
It turned out that my tennis shoes were somewhat subpar, not being sturdy hike boots. I tucked old cargo pants into the top of thick white socks (geeky, yes?), then tucked my long-sleeved t-shirt into my pants. Ugh. I felt completely dorky. Then L topped it off by helping me spray my entire body with TWO kinds of bug spray: one for the clothes, one for the human flesh. Ugh. Hot, sticky AND smelly.
So out to a mostly mowed field about nine of us (happily similarly dressed) trooped. The rest of the large house party stayed safely near the house. This field and house would, of course, be far out in the boondocks. Because the large fireworks we arranged carefully in staged rows were... Um... Well, there are some laws about transporting and setting off of fireworks. I didn't ask too many questions. I am sure the law depends on the state and I could claim that us Texans are crazy. Other states believe that, right?
At dusk, I helped hand out and light sparklers. I actually did manage to successfully hand off some of the sparklers, but evidently handing them out is a salesperson's task. I was lacking some spark. I had to practically throw them like darts to get rid of my handful.
At dark we trooped back to the field, put on safety glasses, put in ear plugs, and got into position. I had an Excel spreadsheet printout with my name highlighted for easy where-am-I-supposed-to-be. L & M lent me a headlamp to read when necessary. Further geekiness to my dark-masked appearance.
The fireworks were staged at one end of the field in the order we were going to fire them. There were five wooden platforms for the actual firing. When my name was called for a stage (turn? round?), I would grab the appropriate firework, walk to my platform, kick off the burned-out old firework, and place my firework down. I would find the wick and then wait for the call. "Positions?" Yes. "Got fire?" I turn on my lighter. Yes. "Light!" And then I would jog back to relative safety of the staging area, stare upward and lose my night vision to the typical (professional, to my eye) looking fireworks display. Of course, it is probably the CLOSEST I have ever been to this kind of fireworks going off...
It was AMAZING.
It was even worth all of the bug bites I discovered the next day. Evidently while I was putting bug repellent on my outerwear, I was putting bug attractor in my underwear. *sigh*
Let's travel back in time a few weeks ago, when I was packing. [Conversation somewhat edited from actual events]
"Wanna blow up stuff with us?"
"Absolutely! That looked So Fun last time!" (I know this reads sarcastic, but it is really not.)
"There will be bugs. Lots and lots of bugs! Horrible, biting, itching BUGS!! And they will want your tender flesh..."
"So, pack long pants, socks to tuck them into, and a long-sleeved shirt."
"Well, you may catch on fire, so don't pack clothes you mind having burn holes."
"Um... OK." *dubious look at phone* Second thoughts that involve bugs are one thing, but horrible burning?
Packing and a plane trip passed...
It turned out that my tennis shoes were somewhat subpar, not being sturdy hike boots. I tucked old cargo pants into the top of thick white socks (geeky, yes?), then tucked my long-sleeved t-shirt into my pants. Ugh. I felt completely dorky. Then L topped it off by helping me spray my entire body with TWO kinds of bug spray: one for the clothes, one for the human flesh. Ugh. Hot, sticky AND smelly.
So out to a mostly mowed field about nine of us (happily similarly dressed) trooped. The rest of the large house party stayed safely near the house. This field and house would, of course, be far out in the boondocks. Because the large fireworks we arranged carefully in staged rows were... Um... Well, there are some laws about transporting and setting off of fireworks. I didn't ask too many questions. I am sure the law depends on the state and I could claim that us Texans are crazy. Other states believe that, right?
At dusk, I helped hand out and light sparklers. I actually did manage to successfully hand off some of the sparklers, but evidently handing them out is a salesperson's task. I was lacking some spark. I had to practically throw them like darts to get rid of my handful.
At dark we trooped back to the field, put on safety glasses, put in ear plugs, and got into position. I had an Excel spreadsheet printout with my name highlighted for easy where-am-I-supposed-to-be. L & M lent me a headlamp to read when necessary. Further geekiness to my dark-masked appearance.
The fireworks were staged at one end of the field in the order we were going to fire them. There were five wooden platforms for the actual firing. When my name was called for a stage (turn? round?), I would grab the appropriate firework, walk to my platform, kick off the burned-out old firework, and place my firework down. I would find the wick and then wait for the call. "Positions?" Yes. "Got fire?" I turn on my lighter. Yes. "Light!" And then I would jog back to relative safety of the staging area, stare upward and lose my night vision to the typical (professional, to my eye) looking fireworks display. Of course, it is probably the CLOSEST I have ever been to this kind of fireworks going off...
It was AMAZING.
It was even worth all of the bug bites I discovered the next day. Evidently while I was putting bug repellent on my outerwear, I was putting bug attractor in my underwear. *sigh*
no subject
Date: 2009-07-14 03:03 pm (UTC)*laugh* and *sympathy* all in the same moment.
I have only one piece of advice that has ever worked worth squat for me: don't drink carbonated beverages for at least 3 days before going outside if it is above freezing outdoors.
carbonated beverages rule
Date: 2009-07-15 11:03 pm (UTC)Re: carbonated beverages rule
Date: 2009-07-16 02:32 pm (UTC)If it is below freezing, mosquitoes usually don't fly.
Regardless of the scientific basis for the absorption rate of beverages vs. solid foods, I try to use a 3 day rule for the complete digestion/processing/expulsion of anything. I won't say I stick to it all of the time, but I try.
Mosquitoes find food (people and animals) by smelling CO2 and flying around until they locate the sources.
Ok, so why avoid carbonation? Because that's a source of more CO2 that I can avoid. Your biggest organ is your skin, and your skin is constantly metabolizing whatever you just ate. Also, your skin breathes just like your lungs. (I know some people who literally sweat garlic or beer.) So not only are you exhaling C02 through your mouth, but your skin is exhaling CO2. When you drink anything carbonated, your metabolic system is being given more CO2 to process, and not in the usual lung-sac kind of way. So where is it going to go, but out your skin.
So, basically, to my logic, drinking anything carbonated at a picnic is the equivalent of putting out the EAT AT REEDROVER's sign for every CO2-loving bug who is downwind of me and can fly faster than I can leave. Avoiding those same drinks makes me less appealing to mosquitoes, and therefore less likely to be tasted. I am not completely immune, but I am less bug-bitten than those who indulge.
As far as just-before-picnic techniques, those are easy too, but I can't claim that they work all that well because I don't adhere to them with as much vigilance. I try to avoid smelling fruity or sweet, so I try to avoid sugared drinks in general as well as shun perfume, scented soaps, and highly scented hair products. The reason I can't claim any great success here is that I love sugar, and I will eat sugared foods enough that the sugar part can't be proven.
Re: carbonated beverages rule
Date: 2009-07-16 05:27 pm (UTC)